Comments on:

By: bhatta

bhatta — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 18:13:09 +0000

1) What do you expect to gain/lose by starting the relationship with trust?
2) What do you expect to gain/lose by starting the relationship without trust?

Some people ask themselves qn 1, others ask themselves qn 2.

I only ask 1),weigh the pros and cons. To me, there is no hard and fast rule.
Personally, asking 2) first is rather negative I think..

By: achitnis

achitnis — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 15:59:34 +0000

Another example of why programmers make lousy security people ;-)

"Drop by default" rulez!

By: mmk

mmk — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 06:11:35 +0000

Why should I trust you when you say this?

Recursive calls apart - you _DO_ get hurt by trusting. I accept that as a given. But the alternative of mis/dis-trusting _everyone_ is not worth it....

By: mmk

mmk — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 06:09:04 +0000

IPD

Interesting - you might want to search for Iterated Prisoners Dilemma, read about it and discuss with Swati. Apparently, the optimal (biz/political/life) strategy is do onto you, what you do onto me. I worked for a while with theoretical CS / IPD in college ....

By: khorgath

khorgath — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 00:06:01 +0000

plain and simple?

There should always be a person taking your position, and there should always be a person taking swati's position. And necessarily, those two people should respect each others' POV.

That mix is what makes perfect sense to me. Not one way, not the other. And it doesn't work if there is only one guy striking the middle line. That just winds up being on neither side.

By: itsjoy

itsjoy — Thu, 20 Feb 2003 00:02:41 +0000

depends on whether you want to hurl yourself into the exciting unknown and risk getting burnt or not.

Not trusting people by default in the beginning or for that matter even at a later stage in a relationship makes sense; albeit at the cost of the depth/richness of the relationship.

By: nandinit

nandinit — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 21:48:39 +0000

I do it based on not trusting them

Ditto !

By: kalyan

kalyan — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:43:15 +0000

Heck - I wouldnt trust you to buy me dinner!

Coming from the guy who refuses to throw a party on his B'day ;)

By: achitnis

achitnis — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:39:02 +0000

Trust is something you earn. You dont get it by default. Trusting people by default is a sure-fire recipe fpr disaster.

Sure, I'd also go to someone I trust or who trusts me, but I cannot expect that a complete stranger will trust me out of the box, or vice versa.

Heck - I wouldnt trust you to buy me dinner!

By: kalyan

kalyan — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:34:20 +0000

yeah.. but you lose your value that way too. If I am trying to get something from someone .. I'd go with a person who trusts me.. and not a person who had no trust at all