Swati to me sometime today afternoon : “You start a relationship based on trusting people, I do it based on not trusting them. That to me makes great business sense’

Proved right once again. Only can wish that it was not true.. ..

  • Only the paranoid survive.

    Trust no one.

    • yeah.. but you lose your value that way too. If I am trying to get something from someone .. I’d go with a person who trusts me.. and not a person who had no trust at all

      • Trust is something you earn. You dont get it by default. Trusting people by default is a sure-fire recipe fpr disaster.

        Sure, I’d also go to someone I trust or who trusts me, but I cannot expect that a complete stranger will trust me out of the box, or vice versa.

        Heck – I wouldnt trust you to buy me dinner!

        • Heck – I wouldnt trust you to buy me dinner!

          Coming from the guy who refuses to throw a party on his B’day 😉

    • mmk

      Why should I trust you when you say this?

      Recursive calls apart – you _DO_ get hurt by trusting. I accept that as a given. But the alternative of mis/dis-trusting _everyone_ is not worth it….

      • Another example of why programmers make lousy security people 😉

        “Drop by default” rulez!

  • I do it based on not trusting them

    Ditto !

  • depends on whether you want to hurl yourself into the exciting unknown and risk getting burnt or not.

    Not trusting people by default in the beginning or for that matter even at a later stage in a relationship makes sense; albeit at the cost of the depth/richness of the relationship.

  • plain and simple?

    There should always be a person taking your position, and there should always be a person taking swati’s position. And necessarily, those two people should respect each others’ POV.

    That mix is what makes perfect sense to me. Not one way, not the other. And it doesn’t work if there is only one guy striking the middle line. That just winds up being on neither side.

  • mmk

    IPD

    Interesting – you might want to search for Iterated Prisoners Dilemma, read about it and discuss with Swati. Apparently, the optimal (biz/political/life) strategy is do onto you, what you do onto me. I worked for a while with theoretical CS / IPD in college ….

  • 1) What do you expect to gain/lose by starting the relationship with trust?
    2) What do you expect to gain/lose by starting the relationship without trust?

    Some people ask themselves qn 1, others ask themselves qn 2.

    I only ask 1),weigh the pros and cons. To me, there is no hard and fast rule.
    Personally, asking 2) first is rather negative I think..